Lennie Law Lennie Law

seeing is believing

You had a vision

life before your eyes

of you and him

As I sat across the table

looked into your eyes

I saw it too

Together we walked

both before my eyes

vision come to life


To my friend - what a privilege it is to witness decision, action and love. You are so brave, and I am so proud.
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poetry, writing Lennie Law poetry, writing Lennie Law

motherly advice

she told me

they should always love you more

she raised me

to love above and beyond that

she showed me

strength where surrender was best

she deceived me

with perseverance over peace

she taught me

how to rationalise hurt

she consoled me

and reminded me of what she had said


In my first relationship, my mother passed me this one piece of advice. It stuck - and it’s a concept I’ve grappled with for a decade now, with every crush, boyfriend, potential, hypothetical. This piece is my reflection on growing up - of a relationship shift between mother and daughter, unlearning unhealthy lessons and understanding child behaviours that no longer serve me as an adult - all whilst respecting and loving the woman that brought me to life. It broke my heart when I penned this poem, when I made these realisations in therapy - and a deep gut-feeling still stirs every time I read this. 
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poetry, writing Lennie Law poetry, writing Lennie Law

coin jar

Spare moments

are spent on you

wondering if you’re spending

the same spare moments on me.

As if they’re coins slotting through the money jar

one tentatively from me

then hoping

one decisively slots in from you.

I don’t mind banking them

if we’re evenly matched

and we smash the jar open

to share our savings.

But if we count the coins

and I’ve invested more

I want them back

because I’ve over-invested

one too many times before.


Musings on relationships both friendly and romantic - moving from a growth to conservative investor. Are they thinking of me as much as I am thinking about them? Are we investing equal amounts? Battling the natural instinct to feel and fall in love, to care - with the burn of being hurt and left with a loss of love and energy.
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poetry, writing Lennie Law poetry, writing Lennie Law

no gain

I have spent

so much time

and energy

and love

keeping us afloat

pulling you along

holding strong

but I can’t do it anymore

my heart is bleeding

energy waning

with the pain and strain

of your weight

wasting me away


Reflecting on the idea of  'working on a relationship'. Understanding the delicate yet disordered difference between what is worth working on and what needs to be let go. Then deciding on what to do next.
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poetry, writing Lennie Law poetry, writing Lennie Law

in between

We walked from market to station

two beers between us

minus one degrees.

Sharing three kisses

distance closing between us

unabashedly crushing after these.


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poetry, writing Lennie Law poetry, writing Lennie Law

hear my voice

Show me how to stand up for myself

because I’ve grown up being silenced

to make it easier to survive


The world is too big for me to feel small

yet I have lived as if it was -

as a minority living in a majority


My voice is lost against those

who feel like theirs has the right of way

leaving me with so much and nothing to say


A fog is slowly lifting from me

but only because the world is starting to see what I see

and trying to feel what I wished I never had to feel


Like I didn’t belong - wasn’t welcome,

like I was living on borrowed land and borrowed time

paying rent and only dreaming of ownership


Don’t call it character building or life experience

or resilience or a point of difference that

I have felt what you have not


It is not my privilege - or advantage

to walk down the street and be told to go back home

knowing full well they don’t mean around the corner that I came from


Stop telling me things will be ok and things will be better

because after twenty-seven years I have realised

how tired I am of battling


So here is my voice in your ears

listen to it - and if you don’t

you will hear it anyway


Originally written in my journal, on the 4th March 2021 following a therapy session where I truly realised how deeply racism affected my upbringing, my sense of self, my voice, my day-to-day. I felt true anger - followed by distress and disappointment. This was written as a commitment to myself, and the world, that I will no longer let others silence, underestimate, dismiss, disadvantage me - or glorify adversity as an advantage.
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poetry, writing Lennie Law poetry, writing Lennie Law

summer’s day

he clouded my vision

in the best way

painted it with rose-tinted wisps

as clear as day

against the bluest of skies

I began my foray

into the hardest love

and a dream that would betray


For all the ones who loved but never thought they would also lose. A tribute to wearing rose-tinted glasses, love-drunk in the honeymoon stage, falling head-first into what you thought would be a sandy-soft ever-after. Assured that rose-tinted was crystal-clear. But instead, you wander through a rocky beach, before landing face-flat into a hard end.
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poetry, writing Lennie Law poetry, writing Lennie Law

whole

And as the moonlight

comes through my window

and I settle down to sleep

I acknowledge the love

I had lost

was the one for myself.

And I realise

that my current state of happiness

my glow, my fire

means my love for myself

is there again.


Originally written as a note on my phone, at 12:08pm on the 3rd October 2020. Context: I had gone through a challenging breakup, I was a couple months into therapy, I was trying to understand my anxiety, I was working through a time and energy intensive job.
Scene: I was lying on my bed, looking out the window, struggling to sleep but deciding not to force it. As cheesy, and as perfect as it sounds - I made eye contact with the bright moon, and clarity struck. I cried. For once, it wasn’t because I was stressed, anxious, lost, confused or heartbroken. It was the moment I realised I was whole, grounded, confident, strong, growing. The moment I finally realised I loved myself again.
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